---
title: Honey & Vinegar:  Being Civil in Civil Litigation
description: Lawsuits, by nature, involve differing opinions and ideas on each side of the argument and both tempers and emotions often run high.
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[Litigation & Trial](https://blog.goosmannlaw.com/trial-lawyer-on-you-side/topic/litigation-trial)

# [Honey & Vinegar:  Being Civil in Civil Litigation](https://blog.goosmannlaw.com/trial-lawyer-on-you-side/honey-vinegar-being-civil-in-civil-litigation)

 By [William Hale](https://blog.goosmannlaw.com/trial-lawyer-on-you-side/author/william-hale)   |  4, September 2019 

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[William Hale](https://blog.goosmannlaw.com/trial-lawyer-on-you-side/author/william-hale)

 Tags: [Litigation & Trial](https://blog.goosmannlaw.com/trial-lawyer-on-you-side/topic/litigation-trial)

## Lawsuits, by nature, involve differing opinions and ideas on each side of the argument and both tempers and emotions often run high.  But, the old adage is often true:  you get more with honey than with vinegar.

It is often wrongly believed that you have to either be one way or the other, with no middle ground.  Either you are hard, gruff, and abrasive, or you are too nice, accommodating, and a push-over.  However, that could not be farther from the truth.  It is quite possible to be a strong advocate for your position and yet still be nice. 

I have seen this time and time again in litigation.  I always strive to be nice in my communications with the opposing side.  When possible (and only if it will not hurt my client’s position), I try to be accommodating of reasonable requests by the opposing side.  However, being nice does not mean that I will give in to the other side’s demands.  It is possible to talk civilly with another person with whom you disagree without raising your voice, throwing out empty threats, or doing things just out of spite.

I am proud to be a part of the bar in Iowa and Nebraska, as I have found that a majority of the attorneys in those states seem to understand this.  I have found that we can get the work done and still get the best outcome for our clients without getting overly emotional or being abrasive.  In fact, it often works out better as both sides are still willing to come to the negotiation table instead of drawing an arbitrary line in the sand and causing the other side to become overly defensive.

As with anything, there is a time to come on strong and use a little vinegar.  It is important to show that we will not cave in and that we are confident with our legal position.  But, even this can be done in a way that leaves the other side understanding that it is not personal.

If you are in a dispute, contact the trial attorneys at the Goosmann Law Firm, PLC, in our Omaha, Sioux City, or Sioux Falls offices.  We can help bring the experience and cool head needed to help move the process towards an ultimate resolution.

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