Two people normally do not enter a marriage with the intention or anticipation it will end in divorce. Unfortunately, approximately fifty percent of marriages now end in divorce. How the parties address the issues surrounding a divorce can range from amicable discussions to all-out warfare. This leads to parties either taking the high road to settle the divorce or entering the drama zone to fight to the last penny.
To avoid the drama zone and all-out warfare, it’s best to ditch the drama. This does not mean to give in on issues that are important to you (such as custody or division of property that has significant sentimental value). Rather, it means to not create an issue where an issue doesn’t exist. Below are some ways to avoid and ditch the drama:
- Avoid any comments or conversations, especially negative ones, about your soon-to-be ex-spouse on social media. The attorney representing your soon-to-be ex can ask for a download of all of your social media activity. This would show if you “liked” a friend’s post on Facebook that talked about burning your ex’s house down. Not a good idea. Ditch the drama and avoid conversations, even indirect ones, on social media about your divorce and your soon-to-be ex.
- Do not talk negatively about your soon-to-be ex-spouse in front of your children. While custody is often the most emotional and contested part of any divorce, it does not make you look like the better parent to bad-mouth the other parent. If your children are younger, the divorce process is likely harder on them than it is on you. Hearing negative comments about a parent they love only compounds the issues and confusion. Ditch the drama by continuing to build your relationship and bond with your children through supporting your children’s relationship with the other parent.
- Be honest with your attorney. Your attorney’s job is to be a zealous advocate for you. If your soon-to-be ex has chosen to enter the drama zone, be aware enough to inform your attorney. If you wish to take the high road, tell your attorney. Until you make your attorney aware of an issue, she or he will not know if a firm response is necessary to address who will ultimately be awarded that antique vase. Ditch the drama and remember your attorney is advocating for you, but your attorney is not a mind reader. If an issue is raised by the other side, and you think it’s minor, make sure your attorney knows.
While some of these scenarios seem trivial and you know you “would never act that way” keep in mind that divorce is inherently dramatic. You must work alongside your attorney to keep the drama at bay and work toward a resolution. Once you’re able to ditch the drama, you will be able to see the true issues surrounding the divorce, and a clearer, more defined path toward resolution will become apparent.