July 19, 2013. Clients will frequently ask what they should do before they file for divorce. It is smart to have a strategy developed with your attorney before you file. Once the filing happens, an unprepared client can find themselves easily overwhelmed by the situation.
Think about marriage counseling if you are unsure divorce is the right option. You want to be confident divorce is the best option before filing since the process can cause a lot of self-doubt and uncertainty. Also, ask your attorney what to expect during this process. Understanding the legal system will help alleviate anxiety and will help you know what to expect during court hearings.
Gather as much information as you can. Regarding financial information, copy pay stubs, bank statements, and W 2’s since that information will be necessary for the court to look at when determining child support and division of assets. Remove personal valuables if you are afraid your spouse may take them after you file for divorce. Preserve evidence of bad behavior exhibited by your spouse, such as text messages or emails.
If you do not have a separate bank account, open one or set aside money for personal expenses. If you are afraid your spouse will clear out the bank account when you file, let your attorney know this, so he/she can take steps to prevent this.
Finally, remember divorce creates a range of emotions and different reactions to this life change. Seek counseling, if necessary. Do not disparage your spouse in front of your children or try to prevent them from having a relationship with the other parent due to your anger or hurt feelings. Do not engage in unhealthy behavior such as uncontrollable drinking or risky behavior. Do not use social media inappropriately. All of this can come back to haunt you when you are trying to convince the judge you are the better parent. Explaining away poor decisions or Facebook photos/postings that are unflattering is embarrassing and can hurt your case.
Properly preparing for your divorce is one of the ways to help ease you through this difficult process and help you move on successfully with your life.
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