--- title: Mistakes Not to Make During Your Divorce Case description: Mistakes Not to Make During Your Divorce Case --- [![Goosman Lawfirm](https://blog.goosmannlaw.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Goosmannlaw%20October2017/images/Goosmann_Law_Firm_logo_4C-white.png?width=1250&name=Goosmann_Law_Firm_logo_4C-white.png "Goosman Lawfirm")](http://goosmannlaw.com/) - [COVID-19 Toolbox](https://goosmannlaw.com/covid-19-resource-toolbox/) - Our Team - [Attorneys](https://goosmannlaw.com/attorneys/) - [Non-Attorney Staff](https://http://goosmannlaw.com/non-attorney-staff/) - Practices & Industries - [Practices](https://goosmannlaw.com/practices/) - [Banking & Finance](https://goosmannlaw.com/banking-finance/) - [Bankruptcy, Restructuring & Workouts](https://goosmannlaw.com/bankruptcy-restructuring-workouts/) - [Business](https://goosmannlaw.com/business/) - [Divorce & Family Law](https://goosmannlaw.com/divorce-family-law/) - [Employment](https://goosmannlaw.com/employment-law/) - [Environmental, Health & Safety](https://goosmannlaw.com/health-safety/) - 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Divorce is a painful experience for most people. There are ways to lessen the difficulty of going through a divorce. Here are some common mistakes that you want to avoid making during this process. 1. **Emotionally deconstructing.** Take positive steps to help yourself get through this difficult process in an effective way. Seek out therapy or a support group. This is helpful for you and your children. Remember, your divorce will be over someday, and you will want to put it behind you while maintaining your dignity. 2. **Involving your children in fights with your spouse**. Putting the children in the middle is the quickest way to create hostility and escalate a negative situation. Resist the urge to lash out at your spouse in front of the children. 3. **Playing games with visitation.** Make sure you show up on time for child exchanges. Do not return the children in dirty clothes, overly tired and hungry. Don’t forget to include the other parent in medical appointments and other scheduled activities. Not working with your soon-to-be ex-spouse will not play well in front of the judge when deciding custody and visitation. 4. **Introducing your children to that new person in your life.** While you are going through divorce proceedings is not the time to start dating. Even worse is introducing the new significant other to your children. Your children need time to heal and learn to adjust to their new home environment with a single parent in the home. Additionally, word will get back to the other parent, which will likely raise tensions. Dating too soon can also cause you skip important healing stages, which will come back to hurt you. 5. **Keeping secrets from your attorney.** You must tell your attorney all of the good, the bad and the ugly. Your attorney is there to help you get through the emotional and financial aspects of the divorce. If information comes out for the first time in front of the judge, it will reflect poorly on you, and your attorney will be unable to un-ring that bell. 6. **Insisting on a trial.** The majority of cases can be resolved during a meaningful settlement agreement. Success at trial is never guaranteed. Insisting on telling your side of the story to the judge can sometimes hurt you if you come across as petty, angry and emotional. That being said, sometimes your case does need to be decided by the judge because a settlement cannot be reached, even though the parties have tried. If your case does go to trial, make sure you are basing your arguments on facts and law. 7. **Unrealistic expectations.** When you meet with your attorney, express to that person your goals to resolve the case. Your attorney will explain possible outcomes and give you the best advice possible on how to proceed. 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